A LIFE WITHOUT DIGITS

Living in the United States as an immigrant has been my biggest challenge. On a hot summer night, along with my mother I crossed the border pursuing a dream. After a long journey, I arrived to New York on September 7, 2005. Back then I thought that the obstacles for me had ended but I didn’t realize that it was just the beginning of a journey where I would encounter many obstacles. Those obstacles have helped me grow up as an individual and they also have taught me that life is not easy.

If I compare the friends of mine who were born in this country to the ones who immigrated to the United States I always see that there is a big difference in lifestyles. The first ones don’t really care a lot about their performance in school because they know that everything will come easily to them, they live legally in this country and have never faced the obstacles that we face. They don’t know how it feels going to a Financial Aid office and being told: “You are wasting your time coming in here, if you don’t have a Social Security number you can’t get any help”. They don’t know how it is like to cross the border in a dark and cold night. But we, the “aliens” have experienced these kind of problems many times, therefore we always work double.

I am currently a senior at an International High School. There I have heard many stories about young immigrants like me. They all have many dreams, just like I do. A lot of them want to succeed; they always tell me that they want to be doctors, lawyers, etc. But it is very sad when they put their heads down and say: “But I am undocumented.” I would like to cheer them up by telling them that everything will be fine but the truth is that, I don’t know what will happen to our future… I don’t know if everything will be fine. The only hope that I have is the Dream Act, this bill that if passed would be the only thing that would help make our dreams and goals come true.

Since I am a senior, this year I started my College application process, and it was very frustrating that I could not apply for the colleges that I wanted to go just because I don’t have citizenship or residency in the United States. I was hoping that by attending a CUNY College I could get some kind of help but unfortunately, a few days ago when I went to Lehman College’s financial aid office I realized that there is no way for me to get financial help. The financial aid officer told me that if I didn’t have a social security number I could not get any help from them. I felt very sad and upset when I heard what she said. Nevertheless it gave me the strength to keep on fighting for my dreams.

Without the nine digits I can only qualify for a very few scholarships, without the nine digits I cannot get a job. I acknowledge that it will be very difficult for my mother and I to afford my college tuition, but I really want to be the first member of my family to go to college. A lot of people might think that the best thing I could do is to go back to “my country” but I would like them to know that the United States is my country now. Therefore I want to get educated in this country, work in this country and live in this country. I want to stay at my new and only home.

I always wonder if all the sacrifices that my mother has made in order to give me a better life would be worth someday. I recognize that my mother is not the only parent working really hard to save money for her child’s college tuition. Like her there are many parents who would do anything to see their children succeed in this country. I wonder if all the nights with no sleep and the tears we all have cried will be worth it someday.

My mother blames herself for what I am experiencing right now but the truth is that it is not her fault. I know that what she was looking for when she decided to come to this country was to create a great future for me, the great future that she could never have because of the lack of economic resources that she suffered back in Mexico. I want my mother to be proud of me because she deserves it.

It is unbelievable how anti-immigrants say that undocumented people are criminals when the First Article from the Universal Declaration of Human Rights declares that, “All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights…” However, in this country not all human beings have equal rights. They should know that no human being is illegal. If God gave us the opportunity to live then, why does the absence of a simple paper forbid us from having the opportunity to have the rights that everyone else has?

I don’t know what will happen after I graduate from high school, my dream is to go to college and become a professional but without a legal status in the United States it will be a big challenge for me. However, I will not give up and I have faith that the Dream Act will be passed. This bill is the only hope that I have; having a legal status is the only way I can make my dream come true. My name is Monica and I am Undocumented…an Undocumented immigrant who doesn’t know what will happen to her future, an undocumented who is not afraid anymore. A young immigrant, who is always trying to stand out in her society because she wants to make a difference. A young woman who has knowledge, values, energy and hunger to succeed but I cannot do this entirely if I can’t continue with my education.