New York State Youth Leadership Council



Feb 12


I know that many of us are in relationships where our partner doesn’t know we lack that famous 9-digit number. Many of us are thinking of coming out to them because: it may be getting serious, we feel like we’re lying about who we are, etc. So here are a few ways of coming out on this special day. Feel free to add some as well!

  • Have a movie night and watch an immigration movie like A Better Life or Under the Same Moon. Afterwards explain why you picked this film.
  • Before going out to drink or dance show them your ID or passport (to not be embarrassed when you take it out in public) and tell them why you don’t have a state ID.
  • Since it’s the New York Dream Act Week of Action, ask if they support the New York Dream Act..depending on their answer you can tell them why it impacts you.
  • While cuddling, tell them about an article you read on undocumented youth. Guide yourself through this conversation depending on their answers, and finally, tell them you’re undocumented.
  • Let them know you’ve gotten involved in an organization that helps immigrant you. When they ask why, simply say that you are undocumented.
  • Tell them your story of self in third person…if it feels the end say, “this story is true because this is story is about me.”
  • If you are going to meet their parents, tell them about your undocumented struggle. This shows you’re not hiding anything, being open about this is good.

Saying you’re undocumented will feel like the first time you said “I love you”. The only fear is how they will react, and if they will reject you. After you have said it, and they respond positively, it’ll get easier and easier to say. Do not be afraid we are here to provide support! And if they do not act positively…well…maybe they weren’t worth it in the first place ?

If you come out to your significant other, or their family, this year on Valentine’s Day, send us your story at