Unidentified Identity
By: Angy
I’ve been here since I was three
Growing up i thought i was the same
My friends and I experienced the same pain
Worrying about parents, girls we didnt like and kissing boys in the rain
Was our make up right? were our clothes ok?
Junior high exams were making us go insane
After graduating
Things started turning, molding, unfolding.
Now i’m an official high school student
Spring recess comes around
There are trips to Italy, France, Greece and Spain
I can’t attend, but i still try to blend
I win awards. i win contests
I’ve turned sixteen
Everyone worries about obtaining their working papers
and taking drivers ED courses
I’ve turn sixteen too
But I don’t worry about any of these things
I’ll wait for what the future brings
I’m an official high school junior
I’ve become a pretty good actor, or am I liar?
I always have the right answers
Maybe not for this equation
I’m starting to lose patience
Everyone around me is driving, traveling
I’m focused on learning
Education might be the only way out
School, a place I can’t be without
Report cards are coming about
I’m a straight A student
I have the qualities of a leader, I’m an achiever
I’ve become president of a club
I’m an official high school senior
The time has come to fill out college applications
I’d be the first in my family
I have all the right qualifications
But it’s time that I start paying attention
I take a look at my reflection
I’m an American, i’m Colombian, i’m a daughter, a sister, a translator, an english speaker
a spanish speaker, a reader, a writer but that is just a fraction
What is the rest of me? a delicate subject
And I must speak about it with caution
I start to face major problems
I don’t recognize myself anymore
I’ve become a complete stranger
Determination drives me to the financial aid office at the college of my choice
While I marvel and rejoice
At the thought of pursuing my education
The universe has set into motion
The first of many events that will push me into action
The administrator is heartless. she carelessly states that there will be no financial help for me
NO matter the grades
NO matters the resume
NO matter the extracurricular involvement
NO matter how much community service i’ve done
for that moment…
Feelings that for years I had pushed into the basement of my soul
Come flooding out with no control.
I AM UNDOCUMENTED.
The world I once knew so brightly painted
Has now dulled down and faded
I woke up that day with hope and only found tears
tears that sting
Salted tears that show the pain I’ve been hiding within
I’m under constant pressure. i have to set a good example
It’s my eighteenth birthday
I’m an “illegal” adult
I wish to be considered equal some day
Once again
Those around me are moving ahead. Everyone has registered to vote
Signed up for credit cards
Some take off to the army
However, I’m running out of time
I’m losing my mind
My education is on the line
Thoughts of suicide running through my brain
Cold, uncaring feelings running through my veins.
Something sets a light off inside me.
And I envision my mother at the age of twenty three
Dreaming of a better future for herself and me
And so we traveled to America for the chance to be free
I came back to reality
And decide that I wont allow my illegality
Stop me from pursuing my happiness freely
The search for scholarships start
With a lot of hard work i’m an official college freshman but my journey isn’t over
Criminology is my intended major
I still struggle, at times I stumble.
The organization im a part of reminds me
That there is a way to reach your DREAM by ACTing
Now I outreach
I’ve become an organizer, protester, marcher, an activist, a voice to the immigrant community
A voice to those like me..
That once felt like nothing..
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