My name is Serge and Im Undocumented

National Coming Out week continues!  Here is Serge’s story:

Growing up I never viewed myself as being different from anybody, I always knew I was undocumented from a very young age but never payed attention to it. Being undocumented never bothered me, I lived in a neighborhood filled with immigrants therefore no one questioned me or judged me on my status. I felt I was the same as everyone else. It was in my senior year of high school when I started applying to colleges that I realized what it meant to be undocumented. All of my friends were applying to colleges out of state and getting scholarships and driver license’s and I felt left out because I couldn’t do the same.

My parents never told me how being undocumented would affect me, I had to learn as time went by. I saw the struggles my older cousins faced: not being able to go to college before in-state tuition was passed and then returning back to Mexico to get an education, it scared me. Education is something we value a lot in my family. Therefore I knew I had to go to college. My parents had sacrificed a lot to be here; therefore, any opportunity I had to better myself, I would take, and going to college is another way to improve myself.

As I filled out applications, I didn’t know what to put in the social security number box. I asked my parents but they told me that they didn’t know either- to leave it blank. I was scared to ask my guidance counselor because I feared she might treat me differently ; therefore, I did nothing. I didn’t know who to go to.

I submitted my college application without a social security number. Very soon I started getting letters back asking me what my status was and I was confused on how to classify myself. I didn’t view myself as being an ‘illegal alien’ as they put it. I feel like I am a citizen of this country, I grew up here, I’ve gone to school here since kindergarten. I wasn’t born here but I don’t know how my home town looks, New York is all I know.

Once I got my acceptance letter saying, “congratulations you have been accepted  to college,” I was very happy that my hard work in High School had payed off. I felt very excited that I was going to register for my first semester. I looked forward to having some very interesting courses that would challenged me.  I thought I could get financial aid to pay for college, as my guidance counselor had told me. But she was wrong; I am not eligible for financial aid, and I am limited to very few scholarships.

My tuition bill came in the mail and I didnt want to open it. I still wondered how I was going to pay it. As I unfolded the bill I read $5,000 for one semester and I thought they had made a mistake. They were charging me twice as much as my friends, I was being charged as an out of state student. I showed the bill to my parents, and a heated argument broke out. “How are we going to pay for this?” they shouted to each other. My parents told me to ask around and see what I could do to get the bill reduced and they assured me not to worry – that they were going to pay for it. My cousin had been accepted to a CUNY school two years before and he told me I was being charged the wrong amount. I was being charged the wrong amount because of my status, he gave me hope by telling me that I qualified for in-state tuition which would bring the cost down.

I went to college the next day to talk to an admissions counselor so that I could get in-state tuition. The counselor wasn’t very friendly. I did not have the appropriate documents to file for in-state tuition. I needed a passport. The counselor asked me loudly ”so what kind of documentation do you have”?. I felt like telling her to shut up, why did she have to be so loud? I was frozen by fear and shame. The counselor gave me an affidavit she said “sign it, bring a passport and come back and then you can have in-state tuition”. As I walked out the office I began to read the affidavit and it basically said that when the chance comes to fix my status, I will do it. I didn’t feel right about singing the affidavit. It was incriminating because there was a sentence which stated that if an immigration official asked for the affidavit the school had to hand it over. As I read that part I remember stopping in the hall way and felt my heart beating faster. I didn’t want to go through the process anymore because it was intimidating, I’ve never been confronted about my status before.

The following week I went back to the admissions office to hand in my affidavit. As the secretary called my name I walked past a long line, she then pulls out a folder with my name on it and across the front in big big red letters, a stamp read, ‘UNDOCUMENTED’. When I saw that folder I wanted to leave the office because of fear and shame that other student’s had seen it. I could feel myself becoming red and I felt very nervous. The counselor then told me I had in-state tuition. Walking home I wondered why they had to label me as undocumented as if I were less than everyone else. I didn’t find it fair, just because I don’t have a social security number doesn’t mean I have to be treated differently. After all the hard work my family had put into being here, I think we all deserve a chance to be equal.

In my junior year of high school my father told me about the Dream Act. I figured, by the time I got into college I would obtain my legal status, but that did not happen. Time went by after I heard about it again, this time I was in my second year of college when, Gabriel, a student in my programming class asked me about my status and spoke to me about the DREAM Act. Gabriel told me about the New York State Youth Leadership Council (NYSYLC) an organization he co-founded alongside with other students who are fighting to pass the Dream Act.

I was invited to a meeting in which they discussed what student groups were doing at their campus to push for the Dream Act, it seemed very interesting to me. An event that captivated my attention and showed me that there is urgency was the Mock Graduation on June 23 in DC. Seeing how many students had gathered was amazing, I had never gone to an event like this before. It was very inspiring to see students from all over the country gathering for a cause that would change the lives of undocumented youth. From that day on I knew I had to do something I couldn’t sit around and wait for change to magically happen.

That summer I signed up for an internship with the New York State Youth Leadership Council and worked on campus as an organizer. I reached out to student groups so they could get active and raise awareness at their campus as well. Currently I am working on organizing high school students in Manhattan so that they can learn what options they have and advance their education.

Now I am a senior, one semester away from graduating.  It feels great, I’m so close from accomplishing a goal that I always wanted but I also have to face reality. I am still undocumented and I don’t have many options. I won’t be able to work in the career of my choice, my future is uncertain. However, we will make the Dream Act pass!

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